Screwed.edu
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
