I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
