Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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