i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
