Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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