guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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