Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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