:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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