He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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