He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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