girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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