But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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