There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
