I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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