I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
