Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
