How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
