I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't want my vagina anymore.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
