Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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