my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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