connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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