She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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