It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I will pee on everything he values.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
