I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
