yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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