If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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