Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
