Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
