Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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