if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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