Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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