no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
