I think i sorta joined a cult last night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
