I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
