Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize