let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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