just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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