We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
