I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
