Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
