that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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