so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
