Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
