but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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