doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
