hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Screwed.edu
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
