12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you inspire me to be a worse person
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
