question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
