So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
