college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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