dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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