His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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