just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
