Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
