Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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