Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?

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(914): View more from New York

i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"

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(480): View more from Arizona

the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.

(208): View more from Idaho

ha well at least you have goals.

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(512): View more from Texas

We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side

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(910): View more from North Carolina

dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

you have got to get your shit together

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(309): View more from Illinois

WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.

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