just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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