Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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