saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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