I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
