He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
