I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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