i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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