We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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