bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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